MrShineyhead's Travels:
Deaf Dog in the Park | State Fair | MrWildWildWest | Gone Fishin' | The Pirate | Me Here!

Tales in The Dark:
The Mountain Lion | Ice Lake | Civil War | Lorelei | The Goblins

With a special ASL translation of:
The Star-Spangled Banner

MrWildWildWest

I am going to do a story --- hold on, I lost my train of thought.  Ok, I am going to tell a story in which the ENTIRE story will consist of two handshapes:  the “A” handshape and the “C” handshape. These handshapes can appear in any combination on either hand, but the entire story will be told using only two handshapes.

There once was a cowboy with a HUGE ten-gallon hat with a very wide brim (“C”).  The cowboy wore a vest (“A”), and sported a thick beard (“C”).  On his face he wore a bandana (“C”) and as he stood he adjusted his vest (“A”) and gun belts (“A”).  With a scowl on his face, the cowboy made his way (“C”) towards his oxen.  The oxen (multiple “C” handshapes) were very large with long pointed horns (“A”).  They stood in the fields chewing their cuds (“A”).

The cowboy decided to hitch up his oxen and go for a drive.  He hitched them up to his wagon, (“A”) and got up into it to drive. Then, he struck the oxen’s necks with the reins in an attempt to get them moving (“A”). Nothing happened.  The cowboy urged the oxen forward once again (“A”) and again nothing happened.  The oxen stood quietly chewing their cuds (“A”).

The cowboy leaned forward and tapped each ox on the head (“C” and then “A”) and they finally began to amble along with the cowboy in the wagon (“A”).  The cowboy swayed from side to side as the oxen walked along (“C”) and the cowboy held on, keeping his balance (“A”). 

The cowboy then slapped the reins against the oxen’s necks (“A”) urging them to go faster. The hot sun (“C”) beat down on the cowboy and his team.  The cowboy wiped his sweating brow (“C”), and then took a long pull from his canteen (“A).  He looked out across the range (“C”) and urged the oxen forward again (“A”).  He rode along for awhile (“A”) and in the distance he noticed some buildings on either side of him (“C”).

As he rode through the town, he waved to the men in town (“C”), who doffed their hats, smiling in response to his waves (“C”).  He waved to the women in town who hid shyly behind their fans (“C”) and waved back at him. The cowboy was thirsty (“C”) and took another drink from his canteen (“A”).  The cowboy looked out at another building (“C”) which appeared to be a saloon. He noticed the swinging double doors (“C”).

At this time, the cowboy also realized that his backside was getting sore from the long ride (“C”), and so he decided to get out of the wagon for awhile.  He gave the oxen a pat (“C”), and left them to chew their cud (“A”) while he ambled into the saloon (“A”).  The cowboy approached the saloon with his hands on his vest (“A”) and his guns ready (“A”). He peered over the swinging double doors (“A”) and then burst through them quickly, the doors banging back and forth (“C”) with his entrance.

The cowboy walked in and noticed several people sitting at a table (“C”) playing cards (“C”).   The cowboy waved his hand in greeting to one of the players (C”) who responded with a thumbs up (“A”). Another man, very unhappy with his hand, slammed his cards down on the table screaming (“C”).  The table shook with the force of the blow. The cowboy walked away (“A”) in hopes that the man would calm down (“C”). 

The cowboy then approached the bar where the bartender stood polishing the glasses (“A” and “C”) and wiping down the bar (“C”).  The bartender would slide the glasses of booze down the bar to the waiting patrons (“A”).

The cowboy waved to the bartender (“C”) getting his attention and telling him he’d like a drink (“A”). The bartender smiled and indicated it would be coming right up (“A”).  The bartender polished off the can (“A” and “C”) and sent the can sailing down the bar (“C” and “A”) where the cowboy caught it in his outstretched hand.  The cowboy then popped the top of the can (“C” and “A”) and the foamy beer poured out over the lip of the can (“C”).

The cowboy patted his stomach in anticipation (“C”). He was very thirsty (“C”). As he sat holding his beer can (“A”), someone came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder (“C”). When he turned around, there was a man standing with his fists outstretched, ready to fight with him (“C”)!!

The cowboy tried to blow him off (“C”), turning back to his beer and taking a long pull from it (“A”).  Again, the man tapped the cowboy on the shoulder (“C”) wanting to fight (“C”).

“What are you, a chicken (“C”)?” he said, “Let’s fight!” (“C”).

Again, the cowboy tried to blow him off (“C”), turning back to his beer and taking a long pull from it (“A”).

Once again, the man tapped the cowboy on the shoulder (“C”), and the cowboy slowly turned around to face the man, with one hand still holding his beer (“A”).  Glowering, the cowboy punched the man in the face (“A”) with lightening speed!

The man toppled over backwards (“C”) from the impact of the punch. His head rang from the punch (“C”).

The cowboy got up after finishing his beer (“A”), wiped off his face (“C”) and began to walk out of the saloon.  Before he could leave, someone tapped him on the shoulder again (“C”).  He turned around to see a shy lady hiding behind a fan (“C” and “A”).

She waved at him (“C”) and flirted from behind her fan (“C”).  She had long wavy hair (“C”) and a very shapely figure (“C”) and wore a dress with a very full skirt. The cowboy stroked his beard (“C”) as he eyed the woman who beckoned him to come with her (“C”) while batting her eyes at him.

“Are you talking to me? (“A”)” the cowboy asked, and began following the woman (“A”).  She giggled and smiled, holding the fan in front of her face (“C”), and urged him to keep following her (“C”). They made their way up the stairs (“C” and “A”), holding onto the handrail as they went. The two continued down a long hallway (“C”), and stopped at a door.  The woman gestured at the door (“C”) and the cowboy opened the door for her (“C”).  The woman and the cowboy both sat down on the bed (“C”), and the cowboy put his arm around her (“C”). The woman laughed playfully, all the while holding her fan in front of her face (“C”), as the cowboy leaned in for a kiss (“C”).  Just before the two kissed, the woman blocked the kiss with her fan (“C”). Surprised, the cowboy didn’t understand what was wrong, until the woman laid down her fan (“C”) to reveal a mouthful of snaggle teeth (“C”).

Shocked, the cowboy yelled in surprise (“C”), jumped off the bed, and ran out of the room (“C”) closing the door behind him (“C”). He ran down the stairs (“C”), nearing the swinging saloon doors at a fast clip.  As he passed the table (“C”) with the men playing cards (“C”), he again waved to one of the players  (“C”) which again angered one of the men and in response, he slammed his cards on the table (“C”).  Remembering what had happened earlier the cowboy ran out of the saloon (“A”) and jumped into his wagon (“C” and “A”).

He slapped the reins against the oxen’s necks (“A”) and nothing happened.  Again, he urged his team forward (“A”), afraid that the man would want to fight again and anxious to get away from the hideous woman, but the oxen stood still. Then he noticed the snaggle-toothed woman (“C”) chasing after him with her fan back in front of her face, waving at him (“C”)! He HAD to get out of there!  Again, he smacked the team with the reins (“A”) desperate to get away.  Finally, he reached down and tapped each ox (“A”) on the head and waved goodbye to the woman with the fan (“C”).

She turned away disappointedly (“C”) as the covered wagon headed out of town (“C”).

Translation done by: Tammera J. Richards, BS, CI & CT; SC:L; NAD IV